College dating is difficult. A piece by the New York Times reported that long-term relationships are difficult to find on campus, and a 2010 study by Jeremy Uecker and Mark Regnerus on gender ratios shows that colleges with fewer men have a student body that went on fewer dates and had fewer long-term relationships. That means plenty of students looking for college dating advice.
Know the Pros and Cons of Dating in the Dorm
With all of this dating drama going on, the dorms seem like the perfect place to find a date. There are lots of good reasons to date your dorm neighbor.
- It’s easy to spend time together because you’re so close.
- You probably already know each other pretty well.
- Everyone is a broke college student so there’s little pressure to go on expensive dates to fancy restaurants.
- You probably have a lot of the same friends.
Dating someone from your dorm can also lead to problems though.
- If you break up, you’ll see them all the time.
- It could make your friends feel awkward.
- You might feel smothered from being so close all the time.
- If you study in the dorms, it’s easier to get distracted.
When should you ask?
Although this depends entirely on you, but consider that you and your potential date will both be getting settled into your rooms, meeting new people and adjusting to your new schedules. You might have fallen for someone quickly, but chances are, everyone is still exploring new freedoms. Don’t rush into anything before you’ve had the chance to get to know everyone. Alternatively, the person you’re interested in might not be ready, and to ask prematurely is a quick way to get rejected.
How should you ask?
One of the good things about dating someone in your dorm is that you’ve probably already gone out together, just with a group of people. This is a great way to see how the two of you interact with each other. Go out to dinner, a movie or a dorm event with a group of people, and spend some time with the person you’re interested. After you’ve done this a few times and you think the feelings might be mutual, it can be as simple as asking them to a dinner or movie again, only without all the other people.
That is totally up to you and your date! What the two of you are interested in will shape what you do together, but there are many traditional options for college dating. Restaurants and theaters around campus make great choices or you can just skip the meal and go for dessert together some evening.
Don’t be afraid to mix it up too. If you go to a school on the coast like at UCLA or UCSB then a trip to the beach might be the perfect first date. If your college has lots of hiking trails like at Dartmouth College or Sierra Nevada College, hiking can be a good morning date option.
No matter what you decide to do, remember that the object of dating is to have fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re probably not doing it right.