7 Colleges Your Mom Doesn’t Want You to Attend

7 Colleges Your Mom Doesn’t Want You to Attend

Acceptance letters from these schools may make your parents squirm a bit. Maybe you should apply?

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Chances are your mom’s worried about you going away to college regardless of where you choose to attend. The amount of hours she lays awake in a cold sweat, however, will definitely vary depending on where you end up. If you’ve been looking for a fun new way to scare the people who raised you, consider spending four years at one of these fine institutions.

1. University of Southern California

Worried Mom Rating: 2 Scowls

USC was named number two on Playboy’s list of party schools, and its less-than-safe location in South Central L.A. has given rappers like Dr. Dre and Snoop a lot of violence-heavy fodder for their music. Attending USC sounds like the perfect recipe for upping your street cred while also giving Mom a serious stress attack.

2. University of Hawaii

Worried Mom Rating: 1 Scowl

With campuses in famously beautiful areas like Maui, Kaui’i, and Honolulu, attending this school means there’s a pretty slim chance of you ever returning to the mainland. Could Mom really blame you, though? Hawaii is undeniably much cooler than (insert your boring hometown here.)

3. University of Colorado, Boulder

Worried Mom Rating: 3 Scowls

This school’s known for its rampant drug culture – it was given the number one spot on The Daily Beast’s list of druggiest colleges, and it also ranked on The Princeton Review’s list of schools where weed runs rampant. We’re guessing this isn’t the kind of experimentation your mom was imagining when you mentioned majoring in science.

4. University of Central Florida

Worried Mom Rating: 2 Scowls

This school’s relatively low degree of selectivity, manageable workload, and high student-to-faculty ratio won it a spot on The Daily Beast’s list of least rigorous selective colleges in the country. Hey, more time for what’s really important: football (Go Knights)!

5. Southern University, New Orleans

Worried Mom Rating: 2 Scowls

This school is nestled right up next to downtown New Orleans, which might explain why it was given the number one spot on The Fiscal Times’ list of public universities with the worst graduation rates. Hey, with all that Cajun cooking and Mardi Gras partying, who even has time to get a degree?

6. New York University

Worried Mom Rating: 1 Scowl

Your mom might think restaurants in New York are expensive, but that’s nothing compared to the cost of attending school there – at a jaw-dropping total cost of $61,977 a year, NYU has been named the most expensive college in the country by Business Insider. Now might be a good time to hide your checkbook, Mom…

7. University of Texas, Austin

Worried Mom Rating: 3 Scowls

UT has a spot on pretty much every “Top Party Schools” list that’s ever been published, and Austin was named the most sexually active city in the U.S. by Men’s Health. With that winning combination, we can practically hear moms everywhere shouting, “Yay!”

Your mission to freak Mom out is almost complete – all you have to do now is chop off your hair, declare yourself an anarchist and discuss plans to move to the woods and live off the land. It’s the perfect plan…

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