5 Best Colleges for Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse
If your obsession with the "Walking Dead" has led to full on zombie apocalypse paranoia, consider attending one of these colleges where you'll be safe.
Once you’ve been accepted into a few different schools, the decision-making process can be pretty tough. Luckily, we’ve created a list of suggested schools based on the most important criteria for college selection: how well you’ll be able to survive a zombie apocalypse.
In addition to a school's ability to shelter you from the undead, academics, location and price should also factor into your college selection.
1. The University of Pittsburg:
University of Pittsburgh, Main’s Cathedral of Learning is the perfect place to avoid being eaten by a former professor or classmate. Enjoy the tower’s spacious 42 stories as you and your band of survivors spread out through the nationality rooms and massive four-story lobby. All the windows on the first floor are raised a good seven feet above the ground, so you won’t have to worry about zombies careening through the glass.
The top dozen floors are dedicated to a private generator and water tower, so your self-contained city won’t suffer the electrical and plumbing shortages that are sure to plague the outside world. Shelter in style and watch as the peaceful Pittsburgh neighborhood of Oakland descends into cannibalistic carnage below you. Don’t worry, though; your monolith will keep you safe.
2. The United States Military Academy at West Point:
Perched above the swift waters of the Hudson River, United States Military Academy at West Point is the ideal locale to avoid being slaughtered by a crowd of brain-dead predators. Not only is the entire school made up of physically fit killing machines, it’s also built like a fortress. This is probably due to the fact that West Point actually is a fortress.
Our recommendation for a safe hiding spot is the West Point Cadet Chapel. This huge stone church built in the 1920s boasts soaring arches, ornate stone carvings and ground floor windows which sit a comfortable six feet above the ground. You won’t even have to worry about barricading the windows; just lock the doors and wait for the cadets outside to finish the job of clearing away all the walkers.
3. Deep Springs College
For all you cowboys out there,Deep Springs College may be the perfect place for you to begin rebuilding civilization after the zombie epidemic is over. Deep Springs is a private, two-year, all-male work college in the Sierra Nevada mountain range. The nearest “town,” is an hour away and has a population of 1,350, so it’s very possible these lucky cowmen will be totally spared from the undead plague.
According to Vanity Fair, the college instills its students with a sense of independence and a skill set that would have made Daniel Boone proud. These strapping young men will definitely be able to build a self-sustaining society from the ruins of our post zombie civilization. The only trouble will be repopulating…
4. UC Berkeley:
University of California, Berkeley refers to itself as the “world’s premier public university,” but even a college filled with brainiacs won’t be able to solve the mystery of the zombie virus. Berkeley is situated in the densely populated San Francisco Bay Area, so once folks start biting each other, it will be pretty difficult to escape. Luckily, for students in the know, Bowels Hall will provide the perfect refuge.
Built in the 1920s, Bowles is a stone castle. The eight-story fortress has few ground floor windows, which means there would be minimal need for boarding up. Given the building’s original use as a dorm, there are plenty of sleeping accommodations, as well as dining facilities and a kitchen.
5. Ilisagvik College:
Everyone likes snow, right? How about snow that renders your town unreachable by road or train for nine months out of the year? Barrow Alaska sits on the shores of the Arctic Sea. In addition to a bustling resort season (joking), the hamlet is home to Ilisagvik College. I?isa?vik is a public community college and the only tribally operated school in Alaska.
While this icy wonderland may not be your first pick if you want to get a good tan, the benefits of spending most of the year in a permanent blizzard does come in handy when trying to ward off the undead. First, consider the fact that, like Deep Springs College,Ilisagvik is so isolated that it’s unlikely any of your classmates will suddenly get a hankering for your flesh. Secondly, even if they do start trying to nibble on your face, the fact that it’s so cold for so long means they’ll freeze solid. If your leftover Thanksgiving turkey can get freezer burn, why not a zombie?
While we believe we’ve found the very best schools to attend if you want to survive a zombie apocalypse, there are a few other schools that might also be worth considering. According to The Salt Lake Tribune and Time Magazine, colleges like Michigan State University and Monmouth College have started offering zombie survival courses. All jokes aside, there are a number of other important criteria for choosing a college match. Academics, location and price should all factor into your decision, so snatch up those college brochures and take a big bite out of your research!